Sitting at the air port in the Delta Sky Club (i’m flying with important people) waiting to head to the gate. I’m anxious, nervous, excited, and can’t wait to experience this trip. As I’ve reflected and anticipated what I’ll experience, there’s a question that keeps coming back to me.
Do I have the courage to ask God to break me? I’ve been told by many that church planting WILL break you. There will come a point when you will come to the end of yourself and you will be broken into a million pieces. Your heart, your mind, your will, your passion, all of it broken. And in this place, you will meet God in a way you never have. Of course one does not look forward to an experience like this as there is much pain involved. I’m sure that my journey as a church planter will lead me to a places and/or places of brokenness, and I trust that I will meet God in those places.
But do you ask for it? Is that like asking to get punched in the gut? It sounds like a completely ridiculous thing to do and one that would fit someone who struggles with masochism, which isn’t me.
Yet here I sit, in the sky club on the precipice of asking God to break me on my trip to Africa.
God, here’s my heart. Do with it what you need to do. Tear down walls that I’ve built up. Confront my insecurities and my false senses of security and comfort. Take me close to the heart of Jesus where the oppressed and brokenhearted were always near. Dare I say it…God, break my heart.